Rejunk da Funk

....UNDER CONSTRUCTION....

I am in the process of really trying to boom my Etsy Store, Rejunk.
Several things have come to mind, including changing the store name, however hours upon hours have gone into my tags and titles. I still have a lot to do, but a tip I was given was to creat a focus blog.

Thats where you come in.

This is my flower bud to a hydrangea in the making.

Stay tuned for more, so you can stop and smell my flowers...in the meantime, click here:
My Most Popular seller

rants

Since I haven't been on here for over a year and a half, I decided to re-read my previous posts.

I envy my previous self. I was articulate, creative, and a little bit sarcastic (which is desirable for me since it is a trait I associate with my great grandma Dot, and she is and always will be my favorite person to ever live). I don't feel that way anymore. I feel broken. I'm trying to fix me but life keeps throwing me curveballs, or seizures...whichever.

I'm very thankful for the people in my life currently that know who I am and what I am capable of, but love me anyway. And forgive me always. You are very strong people!

Modern Day Brainwashing

SO, I was gone for some time. Blog-less. I had been immersing myself in my work and kind of reached a breaking point, went legally crazy, and quit…even though I loved that job….I still miss it. It’s only been a month since I quit but it feels so much longer. </3

Anywho, what have I been doing? Well, since you DIDN’T ask I’m obligated to tell you. A few of you out there will get what I mean when I say what I have been doing. One little word that is life consuming: PINTEREST. Pinterest has me sucked in to its DIY, cooking, interior decorating, gardening, organizing, being thrifty black hole!! I also use the app on my phone just to make sure I’m being 100% effectively obsessed and crazy with it. I would like to blog about some of the things Pinterest has made me do. YES, Pinterest made me. Pinterest is a brain washing, mind controlling, anything and everything inspiring, bitch. Pinterest makes me believe I will NEVER, EVER, EVER (thanks Taylor Swift!) have enough craft supplies or that my house will ever be complete and organized. I can’t throw ANYTHING out, either. Everything must be organized on top of that. Once everything is organized, organize it BETTER. All meals should be clever and pretty; if you can’t take a picture of it make it again! I could sit here all day. But I won’t because I haven’t been on Pinterest in like, 14 minutes so I have to get my fix. Be prepared to indulge in my Pinterest adventures in more posts to come!

voids

Lately, I have been going through life feeling like I’m browsing. Not looking for anything in particular, but certainly looking for something. Maybe it’s to fill a subconscious void; maybe it’s to discover a bigger and better purpose in life. Sometimes I think it is just a way of transitioning from one boring week to the next, thinking “hey, I should do something exciting”, only to be discontented week after week with nothing but a mere, insignificant (if I should be so lucky) feat.

It doesn’t help my predicament that I am an exact mitotic reproduction of my father. We have very few personality traits and 9 times out of 10 we are either:

1.   Impatient

2.   Irrational

3.   Irritated

I also have the luxury of suffering from: constant hunger, a need for altering my current state of mind, a desire to hoard objects or animals, and a general loathing for anything with two legs that doesn’t conform to my needs and wants. Luckily, I am very good at disguising my true feelings and have even come to love my new acquirement of actually genuinely liking some people. I guess it came with age (and grey hair, but we won’t go there).

When presented with the facts above (and yes, I have known myself for almost 24 years, they ARE facts) one can conclude that I must have a miserable existence. And it would be true if I didn’t have my husband, my dogs, my education, my family, and my few friends. This brings me back to my first notion of disgruntlement. What IS missing? Is it something that is missing, or just something I am unsuccessfully detecting? I feel a hollowness that I can’t quite put my finger on.

Some of my recent attempts (some failed, some just didn’t do the trick but are still a part of my life) at filling this void:

1.   Juicing

2.   Running

3.   Kindling

4.   Painting

Maybe I need to cut the shit. Maybe I need to be more ambitious with my life. Maybe I need to count my blessings and STFU. Either way, a feeling is a feeling and if we could control them they would just be decisions. TO BE CONTINUED…

On a different note, here are some things I have been pondering:

1.   How do my dogs know when I am cutting food for myself, and when I am cutting food for them? They must know by the way I hold my fork or something that it’s going in their mouths and not mine…

2.   Why can I be so tired upon arriving home from work and then as soon as I’m doing nothing important I become awake?

3.   WHY do I think watching movies by myself is so depressing?

Laser Hair Removal

So, me and my BFF decided that a normal outing of lunch or shopping wouldn't suffice...so we went and got laser hair removal. I wont share my BFF's experiences since they need a whole separate post and possibly depends if your bladder is sensitive when you laugh...

I got what they refer to as "Smooth as Silk, total body package"...since it is in my nature to do everything "Gun-hoe", over-the-top, and sometimes just impulsive.

My package included:
-Lower arms
-Uni brow
-sideburns (he insisted on doing this for me, even though I couldn't feel the laser, therefore meant there was no hair)
-upper lip
-lower legs and knees
-toes (mine was only my big toe)
-knuckles and hands
-arm pits
-Brazilian bikini
-belly button line

WOW. I should have only picked a few since I was THE WORST laser hair removal patient on the planet (this was not denied, nor confirmed by the doctor).

I have gotten all those areas done except the last two (Brazilian bikini and belly button line)--I go next week for those.

I will discuss my experiences thus far.

Firstly, don't listen to them when they say it feels like a "rubber band on the skin"...it feels more like a bee sting without lingering pain. ALSO, ice and numbing cream is your friend! The area they used numbing cream was for my upper lip, piece of cake. They did NOT use numbing cream (only cold air and ice) for my lower legs and knees and I swear it was next to torture. The little paper bed cover they were using was shredded by the time I was done with my lower legs and I probably could have used duct tape to cover up my yelling (I'm a bit dramatic, but my pain threshold is that of an infant, and there are probably some infants that have more tolerance then me). My arms didn't receive numbing cream or ice and most of the procedure was tolerable...when it got closer to my elbow and knuckles I squirmed a little more more. The area that by far hurt the most was the tops of my knees, on top of my femur, and underneath my knees---on top of the knees winning the prize in painfulness. The arm pit area was tolerable, he used ice (which was painful in itself for some reason) and did a few zaps and that was that. Keep in mind I was yelling in pain for those agonizing 4-6 minutes, but it was not as memorable as my legs and knees (which was more like an hour).

Because of how I was, I asked the doctor "I'm probably not cut out for the bikini area, huh? We should just not do it" and he replied with "You will be fine, we will take care of you"...although he is a VERY nice man, I'm beginning to dislike his commitment to his work, regardless of the challenge. How dare he.

So as I mentally prepare myself for whats in store for my poor, poor lady parts I'm reflecting on the parts that have already undergone "the light". My arm pits are already shedding dead hair after only 2 days, this area seems to be showing the best progress. I don't notice anything going on with my uni brow (which i suppose is a good thing), and my upper lip still has some laser marks (that BETTER go away before my hubby gets home, but they keep getting better daily).

My arms and legs have laser marks and I was concerned about this before bed (Procedure was done on these areas yesterday). When I woke up this morning they were already reduced by about 50%, so I imagine it was very superficial and will heal quickly.

I don't really have much else to say about the experience, except I am happy about not having to shave so often. I haven't decided if I;m going to endure the pain again to have a goal of completely hair-free, maybe one area at a time after this, not multiple areas in a few days.

Since I had so many questions about laser hair removal before I went, and couldnt find what I was looking for on the internet, I open my blog to questions that I will answer. I don't care how rude, crude, or dumb they may seem to you...ask away!

Quick little dootie...

It's a little unfished, wrote on a whim...

No Reason

I do not need a reason,
for loving you so much.
I do not need a reason,
to love your soft sweet touch.

I do not need a reason,
to miss you when your not here.
I do not need a reason,
to get sad and shed a tear.

I do not need a reason,
to be so proud of you.
I do not need a reason,
to be so happy I said "I do".

Poem for my Baby Boy

I'm not a professional, but I wrote this for my new puppy...

I cannot see my mommy, nor my toys askew,

I cannot see my sisters, or this wonderful view.

I cannot see my friend Ada, nor can I see light,

I cannot see no matter how hard I try, even with all my might.

But I can sense my loving home, and I can sense it’ll last,

I can sense these people need me, unlike my dark, dark past.

They know my eyes might not ever see, but never will we part,

For I may not recognize their face, but I see them with my heart.

My Baby Boy <3

UPDATE: Since this, my baby boy (now Conan officially, but unofficially called: Boner and Bones), saw an eye doctor specialist, was determined to have corneal ulcers that were healing and predicted to have some eyesight, but maybe not 100%. A few months later he had a little scar in one eye that is still there to this day but I'm pretty sure his vision is next to perfect. Which matches the rest of him: next to perfect, perhaps even the definition of perfect in my book...which is the only book that matters to us.

The-One-Left-Behind's Deployment Survival Guide

Well, sadly, my husband is deployed. While my husband is deployed it makes me apprechiate all the things he does when he is home. It gets me thinking about the things I have that would make deployments EVEN HARDER if I didn't have them. So, I have complied a list and have called it....

The-One-Left-Behind's Deployment Survival Guide

My blue plastic $1 back scratcher from the Columbus Farmer's Market.  So, it doesn't have to be blue...or plastic, but investing in a back scratcher is top priority in my book. With husband (or wife in some cases) being gone, I refuse to scratch up against the corner of a wall or grab random inanimate objects to scratch my back with...not to mention the disgusted stares I get when I place that object back where I found it, like nothing weird just happened.

My amazing assemblage of animals. If it weren't for the amazing support of the dogs (Eva-5, beagle and Jersey-2, Beagle/Boston mix), and the rats (Bianca and Smootch), I would probably be crying every night. To add to my obsession with animals, I am fostering four additional male rats (Schmitty, Asiago, Hoodrat, and Hector--also pronounced HECTAAAA) and an orphaned male kitten (Mac AKA Macaroni or Meatball). Not only do my animals keep me distracted, but they keep love in my heart and time off my hands! They are a lot of work and my days go by fast :-)

My roommates, aka my best friends. Ok, so drinking away my sorrows is only pathetic if I'm doing it alone...right? Regardless, having my roommates around gives me a reason to put a bra and pants on in the morning, which is always a good thing--especially since we have lots of windows in the house. 

My Job. I know, I know, who wants to work?! But my job is a necessary aspect of being alone on deployments. Working gives me a sense of being needed and takes up a lot of my time that would have otherwise been spent crossing off days on a multitude of calendars. 

So lets review:

Back scratcher + pets (roommates/job) = a fast deployment

Some other things you may want to keep handy are:

1. A clean bathtub and bath salts. Not really my cup of tea, but I hear some people like it.
2. A new cookbook, preferably not one that's labeled "Cooking for One"...too depressing.
3. A gym membership or work out routine. Endorphins are nature's drug.
4. Facebook/AIM/Skype. Plus a computer on your deployed member's end.
5. Books! Reading passes the time and is enjoyable.
6. A bottle of Rum. Hey, we are entitled to at least one day of surrendering to the bottle.

Any other suggestions or comments would fun! What do you NEED to have when your special someone is deployed?

Raw Juicing

So, I've been juicing. 


No, I'm not trying to win any sort of world's most muscular woman contest, thus pumping myself up with steroids. Nor, am I divulging myself in any of Lil Wayne's "juice" cocktails.


I'm talking about my diet the last week. Everyday I have a superfood juice mix (either store bought--organic, of course--or from my new juicer). In addition I try to eat as much raw foods as possible--i.e: raw almond butter, raw nuts, salads with a little organic dressing, juices, etc.


Some products I have been using, and love are below.

I usually take those four products and mix it into a cocktail. Usually in the morning along with a bagel when I take my plethora of vitamins. Some things I LOVE on my bagel are:

I can't even begin to tell you how much I love that blackberry jelly. It is beyond amazing. And the ingredients in the almond better are as follows: organic raw almonds. Yep, that's it. Simplicity will blow your mind with the natural deliciousness of raw almonds. I think I'm going to make my own in my food processor next time to save some money (even though it's not that expensive). 

Speaking of money, organic raw eating isn't cheap. It's quite expensive. With that said, I want to add that I feel amazing! It's only been a week and the way I feel--I would have spent twice as much money. 

To make things interesting, do a search at your favorite bookstore on food healing. They're books about healing different ailments with food such as: cancer, diabetes, tumors, fertility problems, anxiety, depression, addiction, and the list goes on and on. I recommend anyone with issues such as those to consider trying to heal it with food--you have nothing to loose. 

On a side note, I have lost about 10 pounds and I have not been calorie counting. I've just been focusing on good, natural, pesticide-free, nutrient rich foods.

So I challenge everyone to partake in a diet such as mine and see how it goes. Only for a week. If you don't like it, no biggie. Just keep an open mind.

Insomnia...

I've been awake since 3am. My dogs decided they didn't like each other and started to fight...normally they love being sisters (see below).

Anyway, I can't sleep now and they are snoozing their little butts off---in MY bed. They are lucky I love them so much. 


Maybe I can't sleep after watching a show a few days ago called "Food Matters". It's a terrifying show that basically enlightens you to the fact that you are overrun with toxins that are encased in a mucous membrane in fat cells. This is in order for the body to not start an inflammatory reaction on those toxins, so it encases it, forever forgetting it's there...making you fat, lazy, and prone to cancers. It also shits on SOME long term modern medicines, saying they only treat problems, not fix them. Makes sense if you ask me. 


So, my reasonable reaction to this is to buy a $120 juicer and vow to eat more organic and less meats/dairy. I imagine you will see me on here complaining that I can't live without Chinese food a day longer because it doesn't work in the juicer--sigh. 

I suppose trying to fix my diet is long overdue since I am a self proclaimed 50/60 pounds overweight---or shall I say obese. My husband would tell you otherwise, but I know better.


I stopped smoking November 2010, which was my step 1 of 3 to enjoy a better lifestyle and not feel trapped in my natural Michelin Man suit anymore. Step 2 of 3 surfaced as running. I love running. My ankles do not. We will return to this at a later date, most likely. Step 3 of 3 was to change my diet, which never showed it's face into my plan. Better late then never they say---don't they?